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Who Are These Guys, Week 9: Agent Smith
Mr. Anderson. Welcome back. We missed you. This week I tried to make things a bit more difficult by limiting myself to just the Sunday early games from which to choose. The unsurprisingly reality was...
View ArticleSmokey Says, Week 9: Keenan Injury Wayans
What the heck just happened. Smooth sailing on the ship of the S.S. Fantasy, and then, we hit the large iceberg known as the "injury". From a fellow owner of the some of the guys injured, like most...
View ArticleDisgrace and Delight, Week 9: Maui Wowi
Greetings! As many of you know, Beddict is vacationing in the Hawaiian islands, lubing up in tropical oils and scrolling the beaches for anything that breathes to take home and harpoon. So far, so...
View ArticleThe Max Factor: Dude Where’s my Carr?
I’ve had a previous openings about injuries but man was last week bad. We saw top performers go down: Lev’eon Bell, Keenan Allen, Steve Smith and Arian Foster among others. We also saw some top names...
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The Stats Machine, Week 9: Call Me The Brees
When most people think of Lynyrd Skynyrd they immediately think of Freebird. Perhaps a few know of Sweet Home Alabama, but it wouldn't surprise me if many knew the song, but not who sang it. These...
View ArticleReservation For Six: Red Zone Targets
Welcome to Reservations For Six where everyday the specials are touchdowns. Party of five, no problem. Come in, sit down and let's talk about six point plays. And don't forget to tip your server....
View ArticleBear or Bull: You Down with DGB?
A blast from the past with a cute little beat that can make your time on the toilet a little more enjoyable. You're welcome. Now, I'm not an advocate of pursuing O.P.P. (Other People's P???y). It's...
View ArticleDisgrace and Delight, Week 10: Smoking Alshon Jeffery’s Angel Dust
Greetings! Your favorite fantasy writer's favorite fantasy writer (shout out to Apache Kid) is officially back from the islands and fully prepared to drop Elder God-knowledge on the chosen few of you...
View ArticleSmokey Says, Week 10: Keeping it in Family
This week, you will be getting a little family lovin'. It's basically a fantasy kind of lovin' that has a family tree with no branches. So with Week 10 here already and the options to cover every...
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Who Are These Guys, Week 10: Jeremy Spoke In
At home. Drawing pictures. Of mountain tops. With him on top. Lemon yellow sun. Arms raised in a V... Every Forte owner that handcuffed him with Jeremy Langford didn't miss a beat this past weekend....
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The Stats Machine, Week 10: Alpha Beta
This week I've flipped the switch on The Stats Machine. Instead of look back, we're going to look forward. Rather than crying over spilled milk, I'm going to try and figure out when the glass is about...
View ArticleThe Max Factor: Is A-Aron Here?
I struggled to pick the team I wanted to talk about today. On one hand, I want to offer you nice exciting players that will do well going forwards, maybe some forgotten players; on the other hand I...
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Bear or Bull: Twilight, Breaking Manning
twi·light ˈtwīˌlīt/ noun The soft glowing light from the sky when the sun is below the horizon, caused by the perception and hope that the backup can somehow be better than the inept starter. Hit...
View ArticleSmokey Says, Week 11: Stringer Bell
Football is one of those fantasy sports where people always hate players they have been previously burned by. I can count numerous times that I have been burned, seen the player on waivers and looked...
View ArticleThe Max Factor: I’d Let A.P. Bridge my Water
Why can’t we all just be friends? Random terror attacks all over the world is bad news. My neighbors, a family I had grown up with since I was 10 years old, were actually in Paris when the attack...
View ArticleThe Stats Machine, Week 11: It’s Miller Time West of Carson City
Last week I conducted an experiment with The Stats Machine in an attempt to project fantasy points. While I haven't had a chance to do a thorough examination of the results, at first glance it didn't...
View ArticleBear or Bull: Moving On Up
Well we're movin on up, to the east side. To a deluxe apartment in the sky. Movin on up to the east side. We finally got a piece of the pie. Fish don't fry in the kitchen; Beans don't burn on the...
View ArticleThanks Givens
To be honest, I really don't care much for Thanksgiving. After so many years it has become more of a chore than joy. Who gives a sh*t about the food? I can eat whatever I want, whenever I want anyway....
View ArticleThe Max Factor, Week 12: The Thanksgiving Blues
Boys and Girls, I’m finishing business school and I thought it was going to be incredibly hard to go out and find job opportunities in the real world. I enjoy waking up at 10:30 AM every day to eat a...
View ArticleBear or Bull: Hey Mr. D.J.
Is it time for D.J. to keep playing that song on and on and on? Before we can get the party started, let's rewind and take a look at how we got here. The Arizona Cardinals selected David Johnson in the...
View ArticleThe Max Factor: A Hill to Tanne On
So, you are missing the fantasy playoffs this year. I apologize for the injuries your team had this season. I apologize you lost weeks because you benched players that outperformed your starters. I...
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The Stats Machine, Week 13: Yo Adrian!
Well... we're at that point in the season where we've separated the men from the boys. Sorry ladies. It's just an expression. Those of you that have already clinched a playoff berth, congratulations....
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Bear or Bull: K-Ci &“JoJo” LaFell
When I discovered that Brandon LaFell's nickname was "JoJo," I immediately went to YouTube and looked up one of my favorite songs to sing at karaoke. It's a song that describes owning LaFell in...
View ArticleThe Benchwarmers, Week 14: Fitzmagic the Gathering
We are officially in Fantasy Football playoff season, and that means that if you’ve made it this far, it’s because you’ve read my articles and followed my advice, obviously. You’ve still got a chance...
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Bear or Bull: The CW
I hope I don't get sued for using the CW logo. Who am I kidding? I'm sure they would appreciate the exposure to the four people that read this article. With that said, they have come a long way from...
View ArticleThe Benchwarmers, Week 15: So Eifertlessly
With as many injuries as we saw in Week 14, with Eifert, J-Stew, Olsen, Dalton, Yeldon, Rawls, V-Jax and Blount to name a few, the teams that made it through to their league’s semi-final round (the...
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He Cam, He Saw, He Conquered
In his last four games, Cam Newton has thrown 13 touchdown passes. To put that into perspective, on the season Matt Ryan has 17, Jay Cutler has 16, Alex Smith has 15 and Teddy Bridgewater has 9....
View ArticleThe Forte Awakens
By the time you have read this, the most anticipated movie of the year, perhaps decade, will have been unleashed upon us. Instead of catching a midnight showing, I have opted for the Friday morning...
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Bear or Bull: He’s Back
Today's entertainment comes from Alice Cooper, who sang He's Back for the movie Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives. Gotta love the 80's. If you've never watched the Friday the 13th movies, all I can...
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Week 17, the 19th Hole, Scam Newton and Bubba Smith
I don't play golf, but it seems to me that week 17 of the NFL season is the fantasy football equivalent of the 19th hole in golf. Sit back, enjoy your frosty beverage of choice, heck have three, and...
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